On Love, With a Long Lost Friend

You may remember my very first post, A Solider Story, where I spoke of a dear friend of mine, and her war-ward bound journey to Neverland… better known as Iraq. Well, she’s back — and we finally got to catch up, after 18 long months of sporadic emails, unnerving news reports, and one static-filled phone call.

We met up at a local restaurant, and proceeded in giving the unabridged version of the last year and a half of our lives. We glossed over work, the state of affairs in politics, and the weather, and started our journey into men and love… the territory in which every woman can love and hate simultaneously. It’s interesting how love is said to be a universal language, yet there are so many dialects. We talked rather profoundly on our views, take-aways and lessons learned. At the end of the conversation, we decided that girls will be girls, and boys will be boys… and when it’s all said and done, we must co-exist in order to make the world continue to circulate.

We talked about limits, what it means to reach an understanding, and how much sacrifice does one exude before it’s too much. We talked about marriage and what it really means to be married. We talked about the pursuit to happiness, and whether being in-love plays a role in that, or can happiness be reached without it. We laughed over previous relationships that, while in hindsight, were rather superficial, were indeed, love, at that stage in our lives. We testified on how the meaning of love has changed from when we met at the young age of 18… to now…

Here’s where we stand:

ON MARRIAGE
“Happily Ever After is TRUE LOVE” with paperwork.

ON LIMITS
Holding on to a relationship, just enough to make the other person wonder, will only make them wonder just enough… to hold on. A line needs to be drawn.

ON LOVE
Lust is desiring someone for the things they do, not the person they are. Love is desiring someone for the person they are, not the things they do.

ON SELF PRESERVATION
You can’t love yourself, for someone else. When you get to that point, it’s time for an intervention.

And finally…

ON HAPPINESS
Understanding your purpose, and having faith in your decision will ultimately evolve to our own happily ever after. Helen Keller actually said it better than we did though… “Many persons have the wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.”

There you have it. Love, according to chaos. I’m no psychologist, and I’m not even sure if I’m that good at the whole idea of love… but I strive for a happily ever after… and in the end, that’s what keeps me motivated.

Thanks Bridgette — it was great seeing you again!